Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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