I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
