So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize