So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
