Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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