I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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