i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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