I CAN MOONWALK!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
