Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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