I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
