Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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