Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
