What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
