I think my vagina is haunted
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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