update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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