He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
