i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
