Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
we're so committed to being not committed
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize