You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
