I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Shame is for Republicans.
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