Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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