She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
FUCK WHALES
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
