I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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