Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
