My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
