that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
