ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
