my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm sobbing to NWA
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize