so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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