put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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