i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
