So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
