Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
