Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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