i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
