he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
