Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
