Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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