She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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