didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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