I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Randomize
