i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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