are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
