I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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