yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize