the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
