Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
