he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want her autograph on my taint
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
