there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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