i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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