Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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