Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
