who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
