fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
