Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
