i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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