As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
