so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
