I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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