Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
