ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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