he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
