he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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