I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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