You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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