I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
