Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize