Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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