weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
