Moan for me like Helen Keller
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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