Christians are straight up FREAKS
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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