She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's no shave November. This is our time.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
