Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i believe in u and ur pee
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
