Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
