You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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