I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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