i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
