its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
