Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
